Remember the white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland? He was the one always checking his watch, and scurrying, scurrying. The Queen mustn't be kept waiting. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Places to go. People to see.
Shale gas warnings from the US? Oil pipline spills that have dumped millions of gallons of crude on land that will never recover? Hints of conniving in the deal to move Moncton High?
No time. No time. Oh , my fuss and feathers. The Queen wants a special report on "Liquor Deals can be found". And, oh, oh, big auction in Moncton. Big, big auction. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Ooooh! And big story on liquor board privatization. No time. No room for shale gas or shady deals. Need space for the Queen.
And that is the little white rabbit that lands on my doorstep every morning to load me up with the two kinds of information the Queen decrees I shall have - trivia and propaganda.
Though we've heard almost nothing for months about shale gas or regulations for it, close to nothing (and almost all of that in the form of propaganda) about the school move, just today we have close to a full page of propaganda about liquor privatization. And a full page of prime news space about an auction.
No wonder The Irving newspapers are a national embarassment, even when the rest of the Canadian press is nothing of great merit.
On p. D4, our white rabbit announces a speech from the throne which orders the government to cut back on the prices the Queen has to pay that nasty Enbridge Company for gas. Much of the speech was delivered by Baron Ganong. But parts were taken directly from the mouth of the Queen. We're very grateful to the Queen for not allowing New Brunswickers to be ripped off by outsiders.
Queen Jim also informs us that natural gas is environmentally friendly. Indeed it is. Just so long as you don't live in the environment.
In NewsToday, we're getting set up for a war with Iran. Harper has announced that Israel has a right to defend itself against attack from Iran. Well, yes. But Iran hasn't attacked Israel - or anybody else - for centuries. And even if it did get a nuclear bomb, it would be one against hundreds of them in Israel and thousands in the US. (As well, and though it was never reported by the white rabbit, senior US intelligence people have said publicly they see no evidence Iran is developing a nuclear bomb.)
A key, by the way, to Harper's policies is that he caters to relatively small but well-organized groups - like fundamentalist Christians and those Canadian Zionists (which means not all Canadian Zionists) who support Netanyahu. such groups, when well organized, are a potent force in a close election. Looking at one group tells us why we're building more prisons. Looking at both tells us why we are supporting aggressive Zionist groups rather than groups like Jews for Peace in the Middle East.
We're also getting lots of reports on how brutal the Syrian government is. (Estimates are it has killed over seven thousand people.) Funny how the word brutal never came up when the US killed millions of innocent people in Vietnam, a quarter million in Guatmala, a million or so in Iraq - and as it daily kills known numbers in places like Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia...with drones.
Has Mr. Harper offered words of support to any of those victimized countries?
Bill Belliveau assures us that robocalls did not affect the election results. Impressive. We don't even know how many calls were made. Or all the ridings they were made in. There's yet to be any investigation. As well, while it's true that Harper got 40% of the vote, he got nowhere close to 40% of the total electorate, just 40% of those who voted. And nobody has the faintest idea how many of the electorate did not vote because of misleading robocalls.
No body. Except Mr. Belliveau. Obviously, this is a man who can see around corners.
I quite agree with the editorial which praises Mr. Leonard's work as Minister of the Environment where he dealt with the shale gas industry. I'm sure he'll be as good a servant to the Queen in his new portfolio as he was when he was her guardian of the environment.
What a crap paper!