Banner headline in The Moncton Times and Transcript. Top news of the day. There will be a 'Canadian Football League game in Moncton just six and a half months from now. Boy. Thanks for letting us know in time to - whatever...
Second lead story: summer will come again. (For real. You can count on it.)
Third lead story: Bantam hockey team is getting a free trip to the Yukon. And that wraps up everything important that happened in or close to metro Moncton.
The kicker, a guest column opposite the editorial page by-----ta da-----Maxime Bernier. Remember him?
He was Harper's Minister of Foreign Affairs who became a minister largely because he was the Conservative from Quebec with the most votes - and Harper needed to boost the Conservative image in Quebec. He promptly made his mark as a blunder, loosely slipping confidential information to the press, promising a country the loan of aircraft Canada didn't have, referring to Harper as fat and not very bright, and having a very public girlfriend with a specacular bust much of which he insisted must be visible when he escorted her to state events. (She later said he had a made a deal with her that her role was to boost his image as a very virile kind of guy.
One night, he forgot a case of important and highly secret papers at her apartment. They concerned a soon-to-be-held and top secret NATO meeting. After some weeks, she became concerned about it, and contacted foreign affairs. That was just about the time journalists discovered that she had a long history with Hell's Angels.
This man with little brain, vast ego, bad judgement and childish behaviour got a column in The Moncton Times writing on Canadian economy and politics of which, among other topics, he knows nothing. Why?
The column is from a speech he delivered to the Atlantic Institute of Marketing Studies. The owners of The Moncton Times like the Atlantic Institute of Marketing Studies. And The Times editors know how to sit up when they want a biscuit.
Why did AIMS invite Bernier in particular to speak? Because they like to listen to people who think just like them.
Alas, there was bad news for the eager audience at AIMS. His ex-girlfriend did not attend the speech. However, I hear he's thinking of using blow-up, rubber dolls in the future. If he gets invited back to speak to AIMS, then we can expect the Moncton Times and Transcript to cover it the splendied way it covers pond hockey, we'll get three pages of coverage with fifteen photos. Front page, too. Right up there with hot stories about the next hockey game, and how working in a casino is fun.